If i come over, it means nothing
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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