I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
