Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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