I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
