it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
