I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
