he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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