I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
