Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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