He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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