Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize