I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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