So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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