Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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