i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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