It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
