I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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