The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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