haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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