you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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