We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
