is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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