i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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