So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
