I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
