Your face is a jimmy john
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
