Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
