What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
