I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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