lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
