he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
