Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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