they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
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I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??