My entire life is one complicated drinking game
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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