It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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