On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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