i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
