I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
