Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
