i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize