she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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