this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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