he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ugly people sure do ruin things
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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