and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
P.S. I can't hear my feet
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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