He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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