Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
