I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
