I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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