Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
