is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
