I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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