I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
