Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
