Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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