We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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