I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
