My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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