I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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