Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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