thus making me awesome and them whores
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize