i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
