there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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